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I  am changing lives. What a big decision… Not easy to take. You get stuck so easily in a golden cage. Very hard to get out or just step out.

This makes me think about a comment an instructor gave me more than a year ago at the end of an influencing course just before my sabbatical. You will open your cage now, make sure you step out of it to know or understand what is outside.

There is also the story about the baby elephants that are chained at the foot. As a baby they try to break lose but they are not strong enough and as time passes they omit or forget to try convinced that it won’t work anyhow.  Once they are strong enough to break the chain they have forgotten to try…

Some animals that get used to their cage will not risk stepping out once the cage is opened afraid for the unknown.

For me it hurts to let go of my … luxury …

I am or was quite well paid with a lot of financial advantages in my former company. Now I have decided to change jobs. Take a step down in the hierarchy and also on the financial side. Although I am convinced that I will live an exciting and more peaceful live with a much better work-life balance I still have from time to time an akward feeling of having to let go of the luxury. From time to time it pops up and the feeling can be quite strong. Luckily I come back to the ‘who do I want to be’ feeling in the end. And the balance still goes in favor of my taken decision.

What is sure is that changing does bring fear of the unknown (which for me is less applicable) but also and more important for me the mourning of letting go what you had or what you leave behind. It was nice and it has served me for that time. It was the best thing for me at that time. Now it is time for something new, something that suits better ‘who I want to be’ now.

It gives me a great and proud feeling to be brave enough to take this step.

It also helps me advance in my coaching carreer which I develop in parallel of my job. Not only the flexibility of the job enables me to invest time in my side job, my own experience of daring to change my life enables me to help and guide others that think about a life change. I help them bring more clarity in their drive, their dreams, ‘who they want to be’ by exploring all the different elements that come into play for them. And I stay along side them during the potential change to sheer them up when they are having a difficult time, to bring them to ‘who they want to be’. Change as such should not be the driver, only the clarity on ‘who you want to be’. The motivation needs to be a ‘towards’ not an ‘away from’ to be strong and sustainable.

INNER STRENGTH – By internalizing spirituality, living in the moment, being present, being conscious you bring inner peace & inner balance as a sound basis in your life to live an active life in a challenging and rapidly changing environment.

Spirituality or your inner strength as part of your current active life to fully enjoy and live life enthusiaticly!

I also have lived a stresses, never fully happy, empty, rushing, ‘searching for short & rapid pleasures’ live. I did not know what could exist outside of that as this was the only kind of life I had ever lived and seen around me. Until I stepped into the adventure of discovering myself, my inner self on my pace. I know there is a different life out there. That everyone can live. Only essential thing is to discover your inner self, your inner strength and keep in contact with it.

With that bagage you can then step into your active, challenging life and make the correct choices that correspond with ‘who you are’, ‘who you want to be’, ‘the consciousness you want to be’. You hold this vision within yourself and use it as your inner kompass to make the best choices.

As promised in my last post hereby additional information on the ‘happy’ and ‘sad or angry’ water.

The scientist name is Masaru Emoto and his book on the water pictures is named ‘Messages from water’.

You can admire some of the ‘happy’ watercrystals on the site

http-www.hado.life-europe.com-english-

Enjoy : )

I love coaching : )

I have 2 clients now and I enjoy every session with them.

It gives me a great feeling to help them, to guide them, to give them a better feeling at the end of the session. This is their feedback. What is important to me is to ensure that it means sustainable growth for them. That they integrate in their body, in their cells the new perspectives. Only then they are sustainable in the long run.

Compare it with people that YO-YO with their wheight. They have a certain perspective from time to time which might be ‘want to be loved’ that will support them losing wheight. After a while they will maybe notice that even being slim this doesn’t give them what they were looking for initially ‘the being loved’ and they fall back and gain wheight. The internal driver can also have been ‘away from’ and in the end one notices that this doesn’t help by losing wheight and falls back. The only way to get out of this is to find YOUR underlying automatic commitment why ‘you are eating more than you burn’ and then reframe it. It is my impression that most often it is related to loving oneself or having self confidence, knowing that it is OK the way your are. You are an OK person. To integrate this in your body or cells is highly powerful not only to loose wheight. : )

Getting more and more clarity on this makes me see that my niche is spiritual coaching.

What a dragon of a name … for a lot of people. A lot of people fear going in that direction. Maybe it’s about the connotation with religions, dogma’s, wacko-jacko stuff. 

I believe I need to find another name for my practise. I like transformational coach. However it makes me think to much about this series on tv where they transform someone completely with cosmetic surgery. Maybe I need to refer to this integration in the body or cells essential for sustainable results.

Two ‘to do’s pop up in my mind :

1/Look for the site and name of the scientist that has photographed frozen water in different circumstances (happy, sad, agressive, …) which proved that ‘happy’ water gives wonderful symetric cristals, where ‘sad or agressive’ water results in ugly cristals. I am sure this is the same for our body cells. In the movie ‘What the bleep do we know’ it is also referred at.

2/Read and learn about techniques to integrate beliefs in the body cells and practise it with my clients.

What a great insight for me.

“Success is peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to become the best of which you are capable.”
– John R. Wooden

Also interesting is his pyramid of success see http://www.CoachJohnWooden.com

My coach really gave me an excellent exercise to help me ‘manage myself’.

She explained me the 4 positions that NLP uses and asked me to exercise & ‘play’ with them to feel the difference in myself.

1st position : self => this is the position that I am focussing on for now because I feel it makes me feel stronger and connected with my inner self, who I am & what I stand for

2nd position : other => as my coach said this is my strength & my weakness as I have the tendency to go too often in this ‘mode’ and when I am in this mode it is interesting to look at myself from the other persons perspective (quite powerful !)

3rd position : looking without emotions to the situation from a distance

4rd position : let’s call this the super distance position for now.

Thank you coach for this. I like the exercise and I feel that it can help me a lot.
More to follow …

My theme is all about self management !

 

The reason for taking my sabbatical in the first place is lack of self management. I loose myself in wanting to do well for others… to do the best I can. It is important to understand that this ‘throwing myself into the well doing’ comes entirely from my own motivation, my own enthusiasm. Once my sabbatical stopped I directed this well doing on my little daughter that I dedicated a lot of time and attention to till that as well became too much for me and never enough for my daughter. Today I realize that I have again a similar week behind me. Not realizing it and finding it quite OK at the time itself I spend nearly all my time with my daughter, preparing for a diner with friends, going to a  birthday party and cleaning the cellar and my daughter again … till I realize now that I have dropped my own meditation. I feel tired because of a lack of sleep but more I believe by doing nothing in particular, not being focussed on anything.

At the root of this empty feeling I also see the fact that nothing really progresses as I would like it does :

  • my attempts to assemble information through friendly contacts in my former company are not really succesfull except for one that delivers information I believe is not really positive
  • the dancing classes “5 rytmes” are only taking place at about 1/2 to 3/4 of an hour from my home and on the same night my husband has his outside activity since ages. This requires finding a babysit for our daughter for a couple of months on that specific day and finding transport to get there (in case my job would end).
  • although I have been succesful in finding succesful coaching questions on the net I am a little bit anxious about me getting all this in my fingers. Especially after having read a book on NLP (Changing your beliefs from Robert Dilts) I feel I still have quite long road ahead of me.
  • the book also raises questions in myself about my own ‘limiting’ beliefs and what to do about them. I honoustly doubt now whether a ‘normal’ coaching training is capable of changing them in depth. Let’s say I doubt this till proven otherwise => this is a good question for my new coach (NLP coach going through a ‘normal’ coaching training)

 

A lot of doubts and confusion after a couple of very good and optimistic days … Where does the sudden change come from… The only thing that has changed is the stopping of my meditation…

I really need to integrate this again … to make contact with myself, to ground myself and get in contact with my intuition more constantly so I can react directly when I feel I go in the wrong direction.

 

As said in the title … it’s all about self management – spend enough time with and attention to myself.

PS1 Strangely enough this were also my pitfalls that the public discovered during a speech training I have followed

PS2 I was surprised to read that the CEO of ICA had the same challenge – giving too much and by doing so loosing herself and as a result of that the she runs out of energy – therefore her focus needs to be on self management as well, recharging her batteries on time.