Self management & the 4 NLP positions

My coach really gave me an excellent exercise to help me ‘manage myself’.

She explained me the 4 positions that NLP uses and asked me to exercise & ‘play’ with them to feel the difference in myself.

1st position : self => this is the position that I am focussing on for now because I feel it makes me feel stronger and connected with my inner self, who I am & what I stand for

2nd position : other => as my coach said this is my strength & my weakness as I have the tendency to go too often in this ‘mode’ and when I am in this mode it is interesting to look at myself from the other persons perspective (quite powerful !)

3rd position : looking without emotions to the situation from a distance

4rd position : let’s call this the super distance position for now.

Thank you coach for this. I like the exercise and I feel that it can help me a lot.
More to follow …

Feel more and more into coaching

Today I took my last foundation class and I am really happy for this.

Yet, what is more important is that I feel more and more confident that one day I will be able to coach.

I also feel the urge and the fun to start trying out some basics that we have learned (eg reframing perspective, effective feedback, powerful listening). Even more important is that I allow myself the time to do this … I have plenty of time and I am going to enjoy this 🙂

Self management

My theme is all about self management !

 

The reason for taking my sabbatical in the first place is lack of self management. I loose myself in wanting to do well for others… to do the best I can. It is important to understand that this ‘throwing myself into the well doing’ comes entirely from my own motivation, my own enthusiasm. Once my sabbatical stopped I directed this well doing on my little daughter that I dedicated a lot of time and attention to till that as well became too much for me and never enough for my daughter. Today I realize that I have again a similar week behind me. Not realizing it and finding it quite OK at the time itself I spend nearly all my time with my daughter, preparing for a diner with friends, going to a  birthday party and cleaning the cellar and my daughter again … till I realize now that I have dropped my own meditation. I feel tired because of a lack of sleep but more I believe by doing nothing in particular, not being focussed on anything.

At the root of this empty feeling I also see the fact that nothing really progresses as I would like it does :

• my attempts to assemble information through friendly contacts in my former company are not really succesfull except for one that delivers information I believe is not really positive
• the dancing classes “5 rytmes” are only taking place at about 1/2 to 3/4 of an hour from my home and on the same night my husband has his outside activity since ages. This requires finding a babysit for our daughter for a couple of months on that specific day and finding transport to get there (in case my job would end).
• although I have been succesful in finding succesful coaching questions on the net I am a little bit anxious about me getting all this in my fingers. Especially after having read a book on NLP (Changing your beliefs from Robert Dilts) I feel I still have quite long road ahead of me.
• the book also raises questions in myself about my own ‘limiting’ beliefs and what to do about them. I honoustly doubt now whether a ‘normal’ coaching training is capable of changing them in depth. Let’s say I doubt this till proven otherwise => this is a good question for my new coach (NLP coach going through a ‘normal’ coaching training)

 

A lot of doubts and confusion after a couple of very good and optimistic days … Where does the sudden change come from… The only thing that has changed is the stopping of my meditation…

I really need to integrate this again … to make contact with myself, to ground myself and get in contact with my intuition more constantly so I can react directly when I feel I go in the wrong direction.

 

As said in the title … it’s all about self management – spend enough time with and attention to myself.

PS1 Strangely enough this were also my pitfalls that the public discovered during a speech training I have followed

PS2 I was surprised to read that the CEO of ICA had the same challenge – giving too much and by doing so loosing herself and as a result of that the she runs out of energy – therefore her focus needs to be on self management as well, recharging her batteries on time.